As the mother of five grown sons, I’ve learned a lot from being surrounded by masculinity. For someone who was a girlie-girl and avoided PE during her entire school career, preferring Jane Austen and crafts, my guys have challenged me to stretch and grow in ways that needed to happen.
Take Jocko Willink, for example — he’s about as opposite Jane Austen as they come. My husband and sons read his books, listen to his podcast and draw inspiration from him.
Jocko, as he’s known, once commanded the U.S. Navy’s elite SEAL Team 3. He’s also an author and internationally acclaimed podcaster who has managed to tap into young men’s instinctive desire to be warriors, defenders and heroes. He preaches toughness, both physical and mental.
And I never would have heard of him were it not for my sons. From coffee mugs to books and memes, his brand is ubiquitous, at least at our house. “All your excuses are lies.” I love that one. If you ask me, Jocko’s motto, “Discipline equals freedom,” is genius. I’ve listened to some of his podcasts and I’d have to say that the lessons he drew from leading men into battle are amazingly analogous to the spiritual life. From combat readiness to knowing your mission and staying focused on it, Jocko offers up gems to those willing to ponder his words.
Didn’t the good sisters teach us back in the day what our mission was? (I still insist my catechism students memorize this Baltimore Catechism treasure.) Our mission — the reason why God made us — is to know Him, to love Him and to serve Him in this life and to be happy with Him forever in the next. That’s our mission and we’ve got to keep our objective in mind.
In one podcast episode, Jocko talks about what can happen when we lose our focus: A group of airmen who were hovering over the desert watching for signs of insurgents made a fatal error. Unwittingly, they had begun to drift, little by little. With no real markers in the vast desert, they didn’t realize the subtle shift in their position. Tragically, they engaged and fired upon what they later realized were not enemy troops at all but fellow Americans.
The same came happen to us when we lose sight of our mission. Our enemies — the devil, plus that deadly duo of pride and selfishness — lure us in with temptation. We begin to lose focus and start drifting. Venial sins give birth to habits which eventually can lead us into mortal sin by which we kill the life of grace in our soul. We wound others with our sins, often the very people we’re meant to protect and nurture.
And that’s where Jocko’s famous motto, that discipline equals freedom, can motivate us to toughen up for battle. Because it is a battle we’re in, make no mistake. St. Paul warns us clearly: “For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens (Ephesians 6:12).”
St. Paul goes on to describe how a Christian soldier should be combat ready, with the armor of God, the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God. OK, but how do you do that literally? What does that look like?
Well, it doesn’t just happen by osmosis. You won’t fall into it. You won’t get there sleeping in or playing golf or binge-watching videos. It’s a commitment to discipline and God’s grace working together that can help us battle our enemy and grow in holiness.
Please, if you’re a parent of young children, take some of what I’m saying with a grain of salt. I was up at night for years with crying babies and toddlers with earaches and croup. Your battle plan is a bit different. (Praying the Rosary as I walked the halls at night soothing little ones–that was my strategy back in the day.)
If you want to grow in holiness, it’s going to be by God’s grace, but it’s also going to take your iron-clad determination and will. You’re going to need weapons, a strategic plan and a willingness to sacrifice, not excuses.
Look at what Jocko says: “The Darkness cannot extinguish your light. Your will. Your determination. No matter what is happening — no matter how hard the fight is. As long as you keep fighting — you win.”
Here’s a Catholic translation courtesy of St. Dominic Savio: “Death but not sin.” At 14, the young saint had an iron will and determination to avoid offending God. Are we similarly determined to grow in virtue and become the saints God has called us to be? What are we willing to sacrifice to get there? What are we willing to commit ourselves to?
Here’s the battle plan for serious Catholics: Pray the Rosary daily. Stay close to the sacraments. Read the Bible every single day. Find a way to get to Mass more than just on Sundays — shoot for every day if it is at all possible.
And here is where I think of Jocko again. He talks about soldiers complaining to him that a task he assigned, the building of a brick wall, was “impossible.”
“Don’t tell us it’s impossible,” Jocko says, when what it’s really about is that you just don’t want to do the work. “What would it take to get this job done?”
So what would it take for you to make a commitment to daily prayer, the daily Rosary, Scripture and Mass? What would it take for you to get to Confession once a month? What would it take for you to get involved in regularly serving others?
Grace, of course. But it doesn’t end there. You’ve got to have commitment and discipline. That, and a firm decision to not make excuses.
Jocko, who has four children, gets up each day at 4:30 a.m., snaps a picture of his watch and tweets the image to his thousands of followers around the globe.
Here’s a quote from his 2015 book, Extreme Ownership: “That nice, soft pillow, and the warm blanket, and it’s all comfortable and no one wants to leave that comfort — but if you can wake up early in the morning, get a head start on everyone else that’s still sleeping, get productive time doing things that you need to do — that’s a huge piece to moving your life forward.”
You want to grow in holiness? Get up early. Spend time with the King of kings before you go about your day. Do you need to toughen up to fight temptation? Commit to fasting or abstinence once a week. This prayer of the body is something Jesus did before He began His earthly ministry. And when those little excuses invade your mind, call on the grace of God and muster the determination to see it through. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!
Are you ready to battle the enemy? Surrender your life to Christ and commit today to a battle plan. “Get after it,” as Jocko would say.
Thanks, guys. I never would have learned any of this from a Jane Austen novel.
